"I lived to write and wrote to live"
- Samuel Rogers
It was the day most writers have (at some point in
their lives) dreamed about. I was on my
way to the bank with a royalty check in my pocket. The sun was shining. The birds were singing. All seemed to be right in the world. Demon
in My Head was selling and I had been expecting the check to come in since
my publisher sent me an email just a week ago, telling me of the approaching
wind fall. What would I do with it? Of course, being the sensible person that I
am, my thought was to deposit it into my checking account.
The faint laughter of my wife’s voice through the
cell phone still resonated. She mocked
me mercilessly, but I didn’t waver in my resolve. I was a published
novelist and no one could take that away from me. On a sunny afternoon, I took an early lunch
and drove to my bank and walked through the doors. With a back that was ramrod straight, a smile
that bedazzled, and a twinkle in my eye, I marched to the teller’s desk and
placed my check on the counter.
“I would like to deposit this check, please.”
The teller, a nice blonde, with a deep, raspy voice
turned the check over and looked at the endorsed check. She smiled and looked up at me. “All of it, or would you like me to disperse
some of it?”
Sure, the $1.02 check did not look like much, but
that did not matter to me. I was cashing
a royalty check. Someone (just one)
purchased my novel. Most likely it was
someone I knew who was excited that someone they knew had successfully
published a novel, but that was not the point.
“I appreciate the support, Mavis.”
My voice dripped sarcasm.
Mavis had been my teller since I took my current
job. In that time, we’ve gotten to talk
about a lot of things. I knew her oldest
son would be graduating college next spring.
I knew she was trying to cope with an ailing parent. She knew that I had published a novel. “I must say that I’m very impressed. What type of book is it?”
“It’s about vampires.” I waited for the slight roll of the eyes that
I usually got whenever I mentioned that I had written a horror novel.
“Like Twilight?”
I was asked that question so much that I JUST got used to hiding the
disgust from my face.
“Not quite.”
I plastered on a fake smile and briefly gave her a vague synopsis (one
that I’d been using whenever someone asked about my piece).
“Oh…well…that’s
interesting.” Translation: It sounds like a piece of tripe and I won’t
be shelling out money for a copy.
“I’ll have to take a look out for it.”
Translation: Unless you’re giving
out free copies so I can burn it for warmth, I won’t be picking it up anytime
soon.
“Thank you!”
Translation: I know you think that
it’s garbage and won’t be picking it up anytime soon, so why the pleasantries? I kept the smile on my face until I left the
bank, a Herculean task, to be sure. I
will always recall that day to be one of the highlights of my writing
career. With so many friends and family
members telling me of their writing efforts, I have wondered what makes for “success”
in writing. Publishing has always been a
dream of mine, but that was not how I defined “success”. There are many people who tell me that they
are working on publishing a book.
However, few people will tell me that they are working on writing a book. Sure, it may seem like these tasks go hand in
hand (and in a direct way, they do). But
what they reveal is the aspects of the rationale behind their writing.
I’ve repeatedly mentioned that one of my biggest
problems with writing is writing consistently and often. I have two blogs that I manage because I have
something that I want to “say” (and it gives me another reason to write). So, before you set finger to keyboard (or pen
to paper), ask yourself why you do it.
Because when those rejections come (and believe me, they WILL come), are
you writing because you want to write or because you want to publish. Only one of those answers will keep you going
in those cold winter nights when you go through your mail and you find yet
another rejection notice.
No, I’m not rolling in the money with Demon in My Head. I’m sure that I have more friends who have “liked”
Demon than people who have actually
purchased the novel. But it was my
belief in the story (and my editor’s belief in it) that helped to get that
novel into tangible form. And I believe,
if you have a resolute attitude towards your story, you will have tangible
proof that your months and months of work will bear fruit as well.
