That Demented Child (Meditations on Halloween)

The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.
~ H. P. Lovecraft.

Halloween is my favorite holiday.  It is one of the few times of the year where one can throw caution to the wind and act as a kid.  I can put on a mask and badger people for candy (and NOT be arrested for it).  However, above all, I am able to let my imagination run wild and unapologetically explore my fears in an entertaining way. 

Each Halloween, I give myself the tradition of beginning the first draft of a scary story.  A couple of years ago, I penned a short story on Halloween night that gave rise to Gabriel Brimstone, the tragic vampire hunter in my novel Demon in My Head.  I allowed my imagination to run wild and prey upon my deepest, darkest fears.

However, as the years went by, I gave up wearing a costume and walking the streets in the cold, autumn Michigan night and replaced it with sitting on the couch and watching horror movies for the entire month of October.  Due to my bad luck with passing out candy and performing mischievous pranks on innocent passersby (both have resulted in my being “banned” from Halloween), I lay low at home and allow my Friday the 13^th film festival (also known as “Jason-a-thon”) to keep my attention on the macabre.  Luckily, the tradition of writing an early draft of a story has remained.

Writing anything (be it fiction, non-fiction, an essay for class, or a story that is just sticking in your head), can be an exercise in creativity.  We may not play on the monkey bars, or collect action figures anymore, but we can still tap into a side of us that has long been repressed once we learned how to operate in a “straight laced” society (and began to care what others think of us).   The world has taught us how to live in a culture where we worry about bills, mortgages, clocks, 9-to-5 shifts, and responsibilities, which has caused us to repress our childish side.  When I set pen to paper, I revert back to that mischievous nature I had as a kid.  I can write the sickest, “yuckiest” tale that I have in my mind and it is perfectly acceptable.

Watching scary films taps into an inner part of my psyche that lets the demented child run around and play, but when I write something…well…that just allows that demented child to go to his extremes.  On most occasions, I do not show anyone else what I write during the Halloween night.  This may be a good thing.  What this does for me is cause me to realize just how scary my mind can be.  If you know me, that is not much of a stretch. 

Whether you dress up, take your kids out for Trick-or-Treating, and decorate your house in an eerie way, or you decide to sit at home with your porch light off, and watch CNN, take a moment and do something to let that inner child/demon out.  You’ll be glad you did!

A note to the Trick-or-Treaters:  Before you egg those houses with the porchlight off or TP the trees of those who give out pennies, remember that these are people with dark sides, too. 

To all: have a safe and Happy Halloween.  Let your inner demented child out to play (or terrorize…whatever the case may be).